In the end
by Ash4
Summary: A reflection on the road towards the end.


Title: In the end  
  
Author: Ash (AshletX512@aol.com)  
  
Rating: G  
  
Summary: A reflection on the road towards the end.  
  
Disclaimer: I own no rights to Alias or the song "In the end"  
  
Archive: Just ask  
  
A/N: The song, and title, is from Linkin Park. The idea for this just came to me as I listened to it for the millionth time. I know everyone has done one of these future fics, but I haven't seen anything like this.  
  
03/16/02  
  
~~~  
  
I never would have imagined it would end like this.  
  
It's almost ridiculous.  
  
I shoot another dirty look to the driver of the car, but he is oblivious. I'm almost offended that I'm being taken away by such a moron. He can't be more than 23 year old! He's even smacking his gum for crying out loud!  
  
He manages to look back at me for a second, to make sure his prized possession has not disappeared. I know that he is only the driver, but I hate him nonetheless. Does he even know who I am? What I've done? What I would be doing to him if not for these handcuffs?  
  
I know that I shouldn't hate him. He's just doing his job. "Serving his country." I've come to hate that phrase. I've heard it too many times used as I lie. Hell, I've actually used it that way. If only he actually knew the evil he worked for.  
  
I'm still baffled they put this dolt in charge of bringing me towards my end. Some might have thought it to be inevitable, but I guess I began to get stupid. Got too confident. Trusted more, asked questions less. Things were going my way. I felt invincible.  
  
And look where that got me.  
  
I stare blankly out the window of the car, watching the scenery whiz by. Where will I end up? Prison? Death?  
  
No one understands. They don't know my story, know me. But how could they? I can't even tell the person I'm closest to what I'm really feeling. In the end, I'll be made out to be the bad guy. All I was trying to do was make things work. And I actually enjoyed—for the most part—my job. How many people can say that?  
  
A squirrel runs out into the road. My only companion swerves the car to avoid it and manages to hit the poor creature anyway. He's turning out not only to be a waste of space, but also detrimental to our earth. I squirm in my cuffs, wanting to strangle him now, not caring if I would die along with him.  
  
Deciding to prove to be even more annoying, he turns on his radio. It's not the type of music I listen to, but the song is familiar.  
  
*  
  
I tried so hard  
  
And got so far  
  
But in the end  
  
It doesn't even matter  
  
I had to fall  
  
And lose it all  
  
But in the end  
  
It doesn't even matter  
  
*  
  
It's amazing how fitting it is. The perfect song to describe my life. How much had I done? Now there's nothing left, it was all a waste. I had my goal for vindication. But it was never fully accomplished. Could it ever be? Is it possible to disrupt the long-standing traditions of the people around me and throw their world upside down? Play by my rules and not their's?  
  
Given my current situation, all signs seem to be pointing towards no. Sure, I've been known to get myself out of sticky situations before, but I'm sorry to say that this looks like the end.  
  
*  
  
I put my trust in you  
  
Pushed as far as I can go  
  
And for all this  
  
There's only one thing you should know  
  
*  
  
I'm suddenly reminded that I was betrayed. Such an obvious answer, the one I trusted most. He knew everything, enough to incriminate me in everything, and I never suspected.  
  
Why not?  
  
Why should I have to be suspicious of everyone? I can't go around life sheltering myself from everyone, even though to some extent, I did. I trusted very few with my secrets, and obviously, the wrong few.  
  
Jack Bristow.  
  
The name still seems too familiar to me. I would almost rather have had an unknown evil against me. Someone who could have been watching me surreptitiously, than knowing what he knows by talking with me over dinner.  
  
I'm sure he twisted the story. In his version, he is somehow less guilty than I, his calm and collected nature more convincing than others. I'm sure he made me the bad guy. Since when is he so pure?  
  
Before I can hear another chorus or verse of the song to relate to my life, the car slows to a stop. My goofy driver gets out and opens the door behind his seat. I slide over and out, the tiniest bit difficult without the use of my hands. It is now that I notice the cameras and the crowd and the large brick building.  
  
Prison.  
  
My end.  
  
Everyone is interested in how I can be the way I am. They don't understand me. They want to, but they never can.  
  
Through the hubbub, I see him across the way. His arm is around her.  
  
I should have expected.  
  
The Bristows: an unstoppable team.  
  
I watch as she says something to him and they make their way over to me.  
  
"Feel better now?" I spit out at her as she reaches the point in front of me.  
  
She seems to ponder the question for a moment then utters "Yes." It's barely audible through the noise of the news crews and onlookers, but I hear it. "Have fun in prison, Arvin." Sydney smiles.  
  
I'm led away past the group and into the building.  
  
"…Again, we're here live at the California State Maximum Security Prison as Arvin Sloane, head of the terrorist group SD-6, is being taken in…" a nearby reporter tells a video camera as I pass.  
  
Yesterday, I could have ordered for her to be killed.  
  
But I can't go back. My reign is over.  
  
A million "what ifs" run through my head, but remembering the song stops my train of thought.  
  
*  
  
But in the end  
  
It doesn't even matter  
  
*  
  
~~~~  
  
end  
  
A/N: Did anyone actually think it wasn't Sydney until the end? Congrats if you did, I'm tired of all the Syd-centered fics and wanted to write something where you read the end, go "Wha?" and have to read it all over again. They're always fun.  
  
Do you know how hard it is to write ambiguously so the story can be read as Sloane's or Syd's POV.  
  
Enough of this, though. We'll get back to your regularly scheduled Willfic shortly.  
  
Please Review!! 


End file.
